Montessori: A step-by-step guide for beginners
I know. If you just started with Montessori at home, you are probably already overwhelmed. I get you, I was there too. Sometimes I still am. The Internet is flooded with so much amazing Montessori content. You can read articles, buy books, and browse through hundreds of Montessori activities. You can decorate a Montessori playroom, and you can build a small Montessori kitchen. But where do you start?
If exactly that was your question just keep reading. You will find out how to start with Montessori at home today, what is important, what are the best Montessori resources I found, how to do Montessori in a budget-friendly way, and how to adjust your environment even if you do not have a lot of space available.
Why we started living Montessori
I discovered Montessori when my little human was going through some kind of growth spurt. He turned 14 months and showed he has a temper. And boy, when I say temper I mean crying instantly when something is not going his way. At a time, I was spending a lot of time on Google, trying to find engaging toddler activities. I wanted to keep him busy, because I noticed that his temper problems emerge usually when he is bored.
While I was browsing through hundreds of toddler activities, I noticed that some activities are different from others. Every activity that was described as a Montessori activity had a purpose. It was engaging, it was educational and it was beautifully presented to a child. It was created to follow the child and to satisfy his hunger for learning. I immediately fell in love with a philosophy behind the Montessori.
The more I was learning, the more I was sure that I want to bring Montessori into our daily life. I noticed that my little human gets tired of his toys really quickly, so toy rotations were a perfect solution. Also, he always wanted to do all those everyday activities he saw me doing. Even if that meant cleaning! And you know what? Montessori has tons of practical life activities to satisfy this kind of needs. And I decided, why not just give it a go?
Now, as time goes by, and I am seeing some results, I am sure more than ever that this was the best decision I could make. Both, for me as a parent and for my little knowledge-hungry guy who is helping me around the house every day.
But first, some theory behind the scenes
Before you jump right into the action, you need to know few basic Montessori principles. This way you can better understand what is important and why Montessori does some things in a particular way. Also, you can avoid some rookie mistakes I made, that include buying tons of materials and then realizing that your shopping spree was not very Montessori-friendly.
Montessori principles
Absorbent mind
Dr. Montessori believed that from birth and until the age of 6, children are able to learn without taking effort. Their mind is open and it absorbs the whole environment unconsciously. For example, the child is constantly absorbing the sounds around him and, in this way, learns his mother tongue. Also, everything we model to a child is absorbed. Positive or negative. That’s why it is good to be mindful of what kind of experience we want to provide for our child to absorb. Until the age of 3, child learns unconsciously. After around 30 months and until the age of 6, the child develops conscious learning and is doing things purposefully.
Sensitive periods
From birth to age 6, important periods of a child’s development appear. When a child is particularly interested in a certain area that usually means he is in a sensitive period for that area. For example, when my little human started to mimic words and phrases I was saying, I knew he is in a sensitive period for language. That was something he didn’t do before. Also, when he turned 18 months, I noticed he was suddenly trying to put his toothbrush back in a cup after brushing his teeth and his playing tray back on a shelf after playing. That meant a sensitive period for order has begun.
Dr. Montessori considered that if you miss this sensitive period for a certain area, a child will have to take greater effort to learn that area later. But don’t worry. In the beginning, I was stressing a lot I will miss something and my little human will never learn that. But a sensitive period is really hard to miss. Those periods are long. For example, a sensitive period for language lasts from birth until 3 years of age and for social skills from 2.5 until 5 years. And if you just observe what interests your little human, you can’t go wrong.
Some of the sensitive periods to keep an eye on are: period for order, movement, small objects (and tiny details), manners and courtesy, sensory exploration, writing, reading, spoken language.
Child-centered development
A Montessori approach is a child-centered approach. That means it encourages the child to take learning into their own hands. Opposite of what traditional education is, where learning is directed by a teacher or a parent.
Freedom to choose
In Montessori, a child has the freedom to choose. For example, they can choose what they would like to play with or what they would like to wear. So at home, the child chooses activity from his shelf or his wardrobe for the day.
In the Montessori classroom, students have the same freedom. They can choose what they would like to work on. They can move around the classroom whenever they want. Or they can choose to observe and not participate in the activity. That is also ok, both at home and in the classroom.
Individuality of every child
The Montessori approach takes into consideration that every child is different. Some children are very calm and some are very energetic. So it is not very likely that a very energetic child would be able to sit still for a long period of time and calmly read. I know my child certainly wouldn’t have patience to do that. He would always choose hands-on experience with lots of sensory stimulus or movement. Me as a child – completely different story. I would rather choose a book or some puzzles. In traditional education, it is expected that all children are ready to learn the same thing at the same time. Montessori respects the individuality of every child, and the child can choose when he is ready.
Just because Montessori provides freedom of choice, it would be wrong to assume that this approach doesn’t set any limits to a child. For example, the child can choose an activity only if it is available at the moment or his wardrobe only if it’s appropriate. The parent or a teacher can encourage learning of a particular skill by simply including this skill into a daily life or on his Montessori shelf. Also, disturbing others or being disrespectful towards them or the environment is not allowed in any case. If that happens, a parent or a teacher will step in, in a respectful but firm way, to help to resolve a situation.
Prepared environment
There are few reasons why Montessori puts so much importance on a prepared environment.
First, if everything is child-sized and on a child’s eye level, the child doesn’t depend on the parent to accomplish a task. For example, taking a snack, eating at the table, brushing hair, choosing an activity, and so on. Children can complete those tasks on their own.
Second, there is a place for everything and everything is in its place. If a child learns where do certain things belong, it will be easier for him to get the feeling for order and to put things back after using. For example, to return a toothbrush back to its place after brushing teeth or activity tray back on the shelf.
Third, the child has the freedom to choose an activity he wants to work on from the prepared environment – his Montessori shelf. All activities here are adjusted to a child. If activity is too hard to master then a child can get frustrated, and if the activity is to easy, then the child won’t be challenged and will probably be bored. Every activity here targets one skill a child is trying to master and it is not too complicated or too distractive for a child. For example, if the child wants to master threading rings on a rod, there is no need that these rings sing or light at the same time.
So what to have on mind when preparing the environment?
- clutter is removed and only important things are left (toys that child will engage with)
- all activities are complete – if a piece is missing it is better to remove the activity
- prepared activity targets only one skill a child is trying to master
- everything is at the child’s level so the child can independently reach everything
- the environment should be nice and inviting – for example, pictures hanging low at the child’s level
- Montessori prefers natural materials (like wood) in a prepared environment – the weight is more real
Observing the child
This is one of the most important things a parent who wants to bring Montessori at home must learn. Just to observe. While a child plays, moves around the house, or chooses items to engage with. This observation should be free of biases and judgment. Only then we can learn about skills our child is trying to master and about areas he is interested in.
For example, my little human was constantly trying to open one particular drawer with bottles in our kitchen. Every time he did it I said “no” but he just kept doing it. I assumed he is testing my limits and is just not listening. But, when I tried to think about his behaviour without taking it personally, I noticed what is he doing.
The bottles in a drawer are placed in a way that every bottle has its tiny compartment. And he was fascinated with placing bottles back into their compartments. Then I remembered he is doing it with his other toys too. He is putting his farm animals in small bowls and every morning he is pushing his toast in a cup. Basically, he entered a phase in his development when he was particularly interested in one thing. In our case, that was an enclosing schema. He liked enclosed spaces and placing different items in them. If you are interested in types of schemas that appear as the child grows you can learn more here.
The importance of toy rotations
If there are too many toys lying around your house and you feel overwhelmed when you need to put them away, just imagine how your little human feels when he needs to find something to play with. Yup! Probably overwhelmed. It is difficult to choose something to play with when you have so many choices. Especially when you are a baby or a toddler, and the length of your attention span is not your strongest quality.
I was also once guilty of this. Before we started with Montessori, toys were just piling around. My little human would here and there pick something to engage with for a few seconds and then just return to climb all over me. He was just bored with all his toys. But since we started to rotate our toys he engages with them for much longer. It feels like you give completely new magic to a toy that was hidden out of sight for a few days or weeks.
Also, when you keep your space simple and decluttered it is easier for a child to pick up natural sense for the order. A sensitive period for order peeks somewhere between 18 months and 2.5 years so it is a good idea to organize your toys until then.
Respecting the child
There was a period when my little human would start to cry if his grandma wanted to change his diaper. When I was doing it he was fine with it, but when she picked him up he would start to cry. At first, we couldn’t figure out what was going on but then it hit me. When I am going to change his diaper, I always announce: “Oh-oh, I think we need to change your diaper. Shall we go? Which diaper would you like? Blue or green?”. And everything was fine. He would look at me, smile, and we would change a diaper. And when she wanted to change his diaper, she just picked him up and carried him to the changing table.
He didn’t like to be picked up when he is in the middle of something. And he is completely right! How would you feel if someone just picked you up and carried you somewhere while you were watching Netflix? Just like that, without any explanation. You would probably be angry. And so was he. He was so little, he didn’t know how to talk yet, but he knew he wanted to be treated with respect.
Your little human
Somewhere deep down, this was naturally ingrained in me. For me, he is my little human who has his desires, fears, likes and dislikes. And I always felt I need to respect that. I always tried to get down on his level when we talk. I acknowledged his feelings when he was sad or angry. And I always announced a change when something was about to happen: “We need to change your diaper.” “Lunch is ready in 5 minutes.” “When we eat our lunch we are going out.” And this is exactly what Montessori teachers do in their classrooms. They treat students like mini-adults. They don’t interrupt them when they are concentrating and they are asking for permission to lift them up.
Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean my little human is in charge and I need to get his permission for everything. I am his parent and I am setting limits but am doing it in a respectful, calm, and firm way.
The importance of sensorial
Dr. Montessori believed that sensorial experience begins at birth. Through his senses, the child learns about the environment. This is why so many Montessori activities include sensory play like touching different materials and textures, smelling spices, or listening to the sounds of sound jars. This is also one of the reasons why the Montessori approach prefers natural materials. Their weight is more real than the weight of common air-filled plastic toys.
When a child explores items around him, the brain engages in a different way than when a child just hears some information. Some researches show that more neural connections are made during concrete hands-on learning. First, when a child is very young, he explores items with his touch. Later, a child becomes ready to manipulate items in order to accomplish certain tasks. For example, to thread wooden rings on a rod. The importance of the hands-on learning approach is beautifully described here by Simone Davies.
Start with Montessori at home in 6 simple steps
Now that you are familiar with theory behind the Montessori approach we can jump right into action. You can implement Montessori method at home really quickly in six simple steps I listed below.
When I was starting with Montessori I got pretty overwhelmed. I wasn’t sure where to start and I started wrong. I bought toys that weren’t Montessori friendly because I assumed that if they are made out of wood – they are Montessori. Also, I set up activities on a shelf that weren’t Montessori friendly. They were more pretend play than real hands-on experience and were targeting more skills at the same time. Also, I tried to do all at once. Adjust the kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom, all at once. That step was too big, both for me and for my little human. He was overwhelmed with so many changes around the house and I was overwhelmed with his frantic behavior. So to save you from my rookie mistakes here is how I would do it if I start with Montessori all over again:
Step 1: Removing the clutter
Before you buy any new toys or materials, the best thing you can do is go through what you already have and remove everything your little human doesn’t need.
Some of his toys are probably for babies and he has outgrown them. Others are still too difficult to master so they frustrate him and he doesn’t engage with them so often. You probably also own some battery-powered blinking and singing toys that are not very Montessori friendly. Not to mention a pile of plush toys your little human got since his birth. So what to do with all these toys?
I would divide toys into five categories and prepare a different box for each category:
- Toys your little human has outgrown – his baby toys and activities that became too easy
- Toys and activities that are too hard to master at this moment
- Toys that are not Montessori friendly – battery-powered distracting toys or toys that target multiple skills at the time
- Plush toys
- Toys that your little human likes and currently engages with – Jackpot! These are the toys you keep in your current rotations.
Toys your little one has outgrown
In her book, “The Montessori Toddler”, Simone suggests that you donate these toys or store them away for the younger sibling. This act can include your little one as you can explain that these toys will now find a new family. This way you are teaching your child about charity and recycling from the early years. But have in mind that toddlers don’t let go of their toys easily so have patience.
Apart from donation, I used our old baby toys to set up some new toddler activities. For example, I taped a few baby nibbling toys onto a tray and my little human had to “rescue” them. I also wrapped some of his old baby toys in aluminium foil and he had to unwrap them. You can include them in a sensory play and hide them under a pile of rice. Or you can let them float in the water container and your little one has to scoop them out with a colander (or just wash them with a sponge – my little one still likes this).
Toys that are too hard to figure out
With this kind of toys you usually have two options. Either to store them away and wait for a few weeks before you include them into your toy rotations.
Or you can try to think of a way to make them easier for your little human to figure out. For example, Montessori activities usually need to be presented unfinished. So if you have some puzzles, it would be logical that you present them unsolved. But if you notice that this is too hard for your child at this moment, you can present them completed. This way he can put them apart and engage with them in a new way. The same goes for stacking rings, nesting cups, or other similar items.
Toys that are not Montessori friendly
You know that loud battery-powered plastic toys that sing, blink, honk and do a lot of stuff all at once? Well, those are not very Montessori friendly. They can be overwhelming, distracting and usually, they don’t target some particular skill. So what to do with them?
To be honest, we didn’t throw all of our non-Montessori toys. We have a box where we kept a few of those toys. If my little man likes them he can have them. These toys are not part of our rotations and they never end up on our Montessori shelf but they are always accessible to him somewhere in the corner of the room. They are stored in a transparent box in our living room and he engages with them surprisingly often. For example, now when he is two years old he likes to turn them on and dance on the sound of the music. In this box we also keep some items that are not in our rotation but I know my little man is always interested in them – like balls or cars for example.
Other types of non-Montessori toys we own are the ones that target multiple skills at once. For example, they act as a shape sorter, as a push and pull toy, and as a threading activity. All at once. You can see some examples in the photo below. So what to do with them?
Again, we didn’t get rid of them. I did my best to make them more Montessori. How? By dismantling them. Often you can loosen few screws and dismantle a toy so you can present it as few different toys.
Plush toys
Are plush toys considered Montessori? Not really. Should you get rid of them then? Well, not really.
I would bet that every single child got at least one plush toy when he was born. And then some more as family and friends came to visit. So until now you probably have a pile of plush toys and you are not sure what to do with them. Here is what we do.
We have that cute Ikea coffee table in our living room that acts as a table and as a storage. It is called Kvistbro. This is where we keep our plush toys. And surprisingly often, my little human engages with them. He opens the table and takes out a toy he wants.
Sometimes he “feeds” them and sometimes I pull out some of those toys to make him company while I cook. Sometimes he chooses which one of those toys he wants to take out for a walk in his mini stroller. We are also putting those toys to sleep, we dress them and we brush their fur. They are often guests at our tea party. They can provide comfort to a child and they can be used in so many ways that I would definitely advise to keep them and use them even though they are not considered to be Montessori toys.
Toys that your little one currently uses most
If you observe your little human while he plays and moves around the house, you will notice that he prefers some toys and items more than others. Sometimes you will even notice that he repeats particular actions with some items every day. For example, my little human liked unstacking the stacked rings and he liked to place them into different bowls. And he would repeat this every day.
When you notice this, these are the items you should keep in your rotations. And why do I say items rather than toys here? Because, as you probably noticed, sometimes a simple bowl or a bottle can be so much more interesting to a toddler than any toy.
I have a few boxes where I store these toys/items. From here I usually pick 6-7 things that will be on our shelf in the next rotation. And when I notice my little human doesn’t engage with them so often, I put those items back to these boxes and choose new items for our next shelf rotation. Example to this would be a set of different jars and bottles that my little man can practice to open and close.
Step 2: Setting up a playing corner
When I just started with Montessori at home, my initial excitement wore off pretty quickly. I was browsing through hundreds of beautiful and spacious Montessori playrooms when I realized I won’t be able to do that. I don’t have enough space to create such a playroom for my little human. Actually, I don’t even have enough space to place one Montessori shelf that can hold 6-7 activity trays.
So what I did? I noticed that our TV bench was pretty long. TV is mounted to the wall anyway, so if I remove the router and few decorations, I can easily place 5 trays on our TV bench. And if I add a small side table next to the TV bench I can place 2 more trays there. And this is how we started! Now we have real shelf only for activities but this was perfect solution to start immediately.
How to set up Montessori shelf
Why am I mentioning how we started? To let you know that you don’t need to wait for perfect conditions to create Montessori shelf. You can start today and just use whatever you have. Coffee table, TV bench, even floor will do for the start if you present activities in a Montessori way. And if you don’t have enough trays, you can use breadbaskets, shoe box lids, even cardboard plates. Whatever you can think of.
Today, we have a small Montessori shelf in our living room. When I noticed that our improvised Montessori shelf is bringing so much benefit to our everyday life, I decided to rearrange some furniture around our living room to create a little playing corner for my little human here. And now, while you were reading all this probably you are wondering why this corner had to be in a living room? Doesn’t my child have his own room?
Where to set up Montessori shelf
Well, the short answer is yes, it had to be in a living room. At least for us. This is a room where a family spends most of the time together. Even if you are alone at home with your child throughout the day, like me, you will notice that you really spend a lot of time in a living room. And if you want to encourage engagement with activities on a shelf, they have to be visible and accessible to a child most of the time. That means, in a room where he spends most of the time.
In my personal experience, my little human spends most of the time in a room where I spend most of the time. I believe this is just somehow encoded into the toddler’s brain. And if you can’t remember when was the last time you used your bathroom alone, you know what I am talking about. So, if all the activities are in his room then he will rarely engage with them. This way he picks up something from his shelf in a living room more often and plays by himself much longer. At the beginning that was just for a few minutes. Now, when he is two years old, he can do it for an hour or so.
How to do toy rotations
Ok then. Now your little human has his little playing corner and his shelf, yet another question comes to mind: how to do toys/activities rotations here?
Some general guideline that all Montessori resources agree on would be that shelf shouldn’t hold more than 8-10 activities at the time. If your child is younger this means even fewer activities on the shelf. Our perfect number is 6-7 activities on our shelf. Anything more than that results in not diving deep enough into activity. My little human than just takes each activity for a minute or two and then leaves. But when he has fewer activities at his disposal then he tends to play with the activity longer and with much more focus and creativity. Also, I try to have a variety of activities on our shelf – musical instruments, puzzles, fine motor skills toys, and so on.
And how do we decide which activities go on the shelf and which will be stored away? Observation, observation, observation. I can’t stress enough how vital observation is here. You just have to observe what your child is interested in. If I notice my little man frequently tries to pour things from one bowl into another I will include pouring activity on our shelf. If he shows great interest in farm animals I will include farm animal figurines, cards, or books in this rotation. There is no golden rule that works for everyone. As long as something is interesting and engaging to a child, it should be on the shelf. When a child loses his interest after couple of days or weeks it should be replaced with something fresh. Montessori resources usually mention that activities are rotated every 5-10 days but whatever works for your child best just stick with it.
Step 3: Start with practical life skills
I am constantly amazed at how quickly children pick up on things. Just by observing how you do your daily chores they learn and want to contribute at a very young age. A toddler under 2-years-old is perfectly capable to participate in cleaning, doing laundry, preparing simple meals, or brushing his hair.